Episode 5 - Protecting Children from the Harmful Legacy of Dr. Dobson with D.L. Mayfield
Episode 5: Protecting Children from the Harmful Legacy of Dr. Dobson with D.L. Mayfield
Today’s episode is a heavier one.
We recorded this conversation in the midst of the newly released Epstein files and the horrific reality that powerful people often protect abusers rather than children. If there was ever a moment to talk plainly about safeguarding children, it’s now.
Our guest today is D.L. Mayfield (they/them). D.L. is an author, podcaster, and co-creator of The Strong-Willed Project, which documents harm done to children in evangelicalism and other high-control religious spaces, with particular attention to the legacy of James Dobson and the parenting framework his books popularized for decades.
This episode was recorded on February 11, just days after reporting revealed that some abusers named in the Epstein files shared Dobson’s parenting advice as part of controlling their victims.
A content note: this episode includes discussion of corporal punishment and abuse. We do not describe sexual abuse in detail, but it is referenced. Please take care of yourself in whatever way you need. But if you have the privilege to listen, especially if you have not experienced abuse, please don’t look away. Children cannot advocate for themselves in systems built to silence them. Protecting them is a moral responsibility.
As James Baldwin writes:
“The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.
Chapters:
0:00 — Welcome + Content Warning
1:10 — Why This Episode Feels Urgent
2:45 — The Epstein Files and Protecting Children
4:20 — Introducing D.L. Mayfield + The Strong-Willed Project
6:35 — How D.L. Became Obsessed with James Dobson
7:30 — Authoritarian Homes and Authoritarian Governments
10:10 — “If You Don’t Spank Them, You’re Not a Good Christian”
12:30 — Corporal Punishment Research vs. Evangelical Culture
15:20 — The Golden Child and The Strong-Willed Child
18:40 — Obedience Culture: “Obey or Else”
20:10 — Religious Authoritarianism and Political Compliance
23:50 — Shame, Nervous Systems, and Trauma Bonding
26:00 — How Spanking Teaches Children to Distrust Their Bodies
28:45 — Why Shame Becomes a Spiritual Lifelong Pattern
31:15 — Religious OCD and Fear-Based Formation
33:40 — Indoctrination in the First Eight Years
36:00 — Developing a Child’s Sense of Self First
39:50 — Child Development and Predator Psychology
42:15 — The Harm of Seeing Children as “Little Adults”
44:30 — “Vipers in Diapers”: Dehumanizing Language
47:00 — Predators, Power, and the Pillar of the Community
49:40 — Grace for Leaders, Punishment for Children
52:30 — “Millstone” Theology and Accountability
55:00 — Why Accountability Is So Rare
58:20 — ICE, Detention Centers, and Children Now
1:00:30 — What Churches Should Be Doing
1:02:10 — If We Treated Children Better, the World Would Change
About our guest:
D.L. Mayfield (they/them) lives and writes on the outskirts of Portland, Oregon, with their partner and two children. After a decade of writing for Christian spaces, they now write primarily about issues of neurodivergence and healing from high-control religion.
D.L. and their partner Krispin Mayfield are currently working on a multimedia publishing project entitled STRONGWILLED, which is available on Substack.
D.L. is the author of three books, the most recent of which is a biography of radical catholic anarchist/journalist Dorothy Day titled Unruly Saint: Dorothy Day’s Radical Vision and its Challenge for our Times.
In addition to their books, Mayfield has writes a popular substack called Healing is My Special Interest, a weekly newsletter at the intersection of late-diagnosed neurodivergence and healing from high control religions.
Transcript:
Read the full transcript here.
Podcast production by Kyle Lock, logo by Adam Lock, and theme music by J Lind.
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